Alf came home this morning with a bagful of bagels.
“Were those bagels boiled and then baked, like the real thing?” I asked.
“I don’t know. They just looked good.”
“Now that you’ve eaten one, what do you think?” I said.
“It was light and crispy.” 
“A dead giveaway. I fake bagel, it wasn’t boiled.”
“What’s the difference?”
“A real bagel is crunchy and shiny on the outside, chewy on the inside. There’s weight to it.”
“Since when have you become a connoisseur of bagels?” Alf said.
“Since my first trip to New York, years ago when I sunk my teeth into a pumpernickel bagel piled high with green olive cream cheese that oozed out with every bite. I’ve been spoiled ever since.”
“You’ve been spoiled by more than bagels my dear.”
Calvin says, “I’m soft on the outside and weighty on the inside. I wouldn’t pass for a real bagel, but you could make me one with lots of smoked salmon, thank you, please.” 
Calvin & Bloggie 